Gentlemen in Training
The Case for Manners for Today’s Young Men – Part 4
With the recent succession of high-powered men sinking into the abyss of shame as a result of their past indiscretions, I can’t help but think of what has nourished this collective behavior for eons. That machismo wins the day. That “manning up,” that is to say, showing no weakness whatsoever, will triumph over all. What we’ve seen however, is the exact opposite. As these men continue to double-down and deny-till-they die, we (read: the populace that has either brought them to power through adulation, election, or otherwise) witness their masculinity shrivel faster than we can understand. It’s as though by acting tougher, they become weaker.
Why?
Because the masculinity our predecessors have tried to instill upon us has ignored the fact that humans have weaknesses. We’re not perfect. We fail. We make mistakes. The male sex is not immune to folly, but by powering through or over the problems that get set in motion by our own misdeeds—which is what we have been taught to do for so long—we bury them in our psyches only to have them grow, eventually erupt, and kill us in the end.
So, what’s the fix?
Instead of manning up, why not gentleman up? Exercise discipline. Believe. Ask. Listen. Share. Collaborate. Talk. Admit. Accept. Acknowledge. Process. Empathize. Sympathize. Apologize. Think.
My little guys are growing up so fast. Every time I see them do something that resembles a civilized behavior: saying “thank you,” saying “may I,” giving a pat on the back, or a kiss at just the right time, I see the glimmers of a better future. I see the men that I hope will face their problems, instead of be their problems. I see the men that I hope will lead not by force, but by example.
Manners Matter: Part 1 of the Gentlemen in Training series
PC or Not PC: Part 2 of the Gentlemen in Training series
Brotherly Love: Part 3 of the Gentlemen in Training series
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